How to say hello in Vietnamese
Every course answers xin chào. It is not wrong — it is just what
almost nobody says to another person.
Why xin chào sounds off
xin chào is the greeting of speeches, signs and language apps. Said to one person
across a counter, it lands somewhere between formal and foreign — the way "I bid you good day"
would in English.
What people actually say is chào plus the word for the person in front of
them. The greeting and the pronoun are the same decision, and there is no way around it:
Vietnamese has no neutral "you".
So: chào + who
| You say | To whom | Literally |
|---|---|---|
| ông | an elderly man, very respectful | grandfather |
| bà | an elderly woman, very respectful | grandmother |
| bác | someone your parents' age or older | a parent's elder sibling |
| chú | a clearly older man | father's younger brother |
| cô | an older woman — and any female teacher | father's sister |
| dì | an older woman, common in the South | mother's younger sister |
| cậu | an uncle — and “you” between young friends in the North | mother's brother |
| thầy | a male teacher | master |
| anh | a slightly older man, or a peer | big brother |
| chị | a slightly older woman, or a peer | big sister |
| em | someone younger — and his partner | younger sibling |
| bạn | a peer, neutral and a bit distant | friend |
| mình | an intimate, inside a couple | self |
| tôi | ⚠️ neutral-DISTANT: business, strangers, broadcast | — |
| tao / mày | ⚠️ very familiar between close friends — or rude | — |
The right-hand column is the part that surprises people. Almost every one of these is a
kinship term. Greeting a shopkeeper as chị literally calls her "big sister" —
and that is simply how the language works, not a familiarity you are taking.
The rule that saves you
When in doubt, aim older. Guessing high is almost always forgiven; guessing low is not. One exception: a woman whose age you'd be overshooting by a lot.
And add ạ at the end when speaking to anyone older: Chào chị ạ. One
syllable, and it carries all the politeness you were worried about.
What you call yourself changes too
This is the part that has no equivalent in English or French. If you greet an elderly man as
ông, you refer to yourself as cháu — grandchild. Change who you talk to
and your own "I" changes with it.
Courses that teach only tôi skip this entirely. tôi is not the
neutral "I" it looks like: it is the distant one, right for business and strangers and wrong for
almost everyone you actually want to talk to.